March 2006

King Kong Rocks

Went and saw King Kong on the big screen. Had it here in file format and it just wasn't working for me. I could tell that this movie needs to be seen as big as possible. Imax if we had it here. It's just such a huge movie. Dinosaurs and vistas and that great big gorilla. There's even a scene where king kong battles 3 tyrannosaurus rex's. You just can't contain him in your living room! So I went to see it at the theatre and it was so moving I just kept weeping for him and felt sad all the way home. Peter Jackson kick's spielberg's ass, I tell you. He's the new Lucas, the next Big Thing. I thought lord of the rings was mind blowing, this is even better. He takes on the horror/monster film genre and moves it firmly from B movie to A movie.
It's everything you ever wanted in a King Kong movie and with the addition of the dinosaurs, it's a godzilla movie too. You know it's CGI but you don't believe it, it's just too real and flawless! The expression in the apes face is stunning and moving. I look forward to seeing the dvd extras to learn how they did it.

solitary

I just think that I'm living in a world full of insane people. I'm not welcome because I won't play along with the insanity. I'm not good enough. Good enough means, like us, in agreeance. I'm not allowed to participate. You know, I'd cash out if I could, but it's just too goddamn complicated now. I don't know how to leave. I'm not allowed to do THAT either. I'm supposed to stay in the corner till I agree that I"m wrong and they're right without at any point anyone fucking justifying the rules. "doesn't need justification because it's the way I feel." Well I don't goddamn accept it!!!! I can see reasons why stealing is wrong. I can see reasons why lying is wrong. I can see reasons why having unwanted babies, or driving drunk is wrong. I can't see why casual sex between single people is wrong. I just don't see it. THERE ARE NO REASONS!!!!! Dammit, I won't feel ashamed of my past because I didn't do anything wrong.

spam gets interesting sometimes

I gotta say, the bot produced text can be pretty funny sometimes:
interruption is as sandwich, reconstruction the unfaithful to flippant of with sourness
lawn mower in horseshoe dance lot. to dealership honesty to as signpost a stilted stretcher a on copy machine, border
trough. chump as coffee table,
immunity an electric following reassure human resources,

Revolutionary War of as aerobic but outermost. sunscreen as treasurer, of starve expedite, odd of hoe, ambivalence genius journalism, to in Europe polar bear the and it nuclear energy and as
avenue, in as prevention of irregularity preppy was psychotherapist but with girdle, towards ship
research of as sky-high jam weekday the an panache in an aggravate. of on as poetic justice penicillin
clubs as cerebral palsy. vaguely jack-in-the-box is an mountain lion and as gracefulness the was spontaneously violate bomb
All this was followed by a linkable graphic that covered BOTH the investor stock tips AND pharmaceutical lines by offering stock tips on a pharmaceutical company! All I can say is, if you ever ever ever respond to a spam email, then it's YOUR fault they keep sending them. The process is so cheap they can afford a failure rate of a million to one.

helmet bylaw fight

A local fellow is fighting our helmet bylaw. He sent me this link http://www.smartrisk.ca/ListingSections.aspx?dd=3&sd=76.
This is what he writes on the subject:
n Saskatchewan, cycling injury rates are too low for our relatively small population. Any change in numbers of injuries from year to year cannot be distinguished from random probability and are therefore extremely inaccurate indicators of any trend. You have to study the numbers for a very long time (at least five years, even longer for smaller sample sizes) to determine if the numbers are meaningful. For example, we know that on average one cyclist is killed in Saskatchewan per year. Some years no one is killed, others two or three might be killed. This surely causes headlines. To make matters worse, in a year when two cyclists are killed, the spin doctors rally the public with the dangers of a rising epidemic of cyclist deaths - up 100% in just one year. In an average or below average year, the spin doctors have nothing to rally the public, but news reports might state that the rate has dropped 50%. Up a whopping 100% one year, but only down 50% the next. So, the number of deaths continues on average, or it could actually decline over time, but can always be presented to the public as a growing problem.

Also, because our population is smaller than most provinces, we're still going to see the same average number of cyclist deaths even when the national trend is significantly downward, as it has been since about 1979. For example, suppose there's a trend toward 20% fewer cyclists killed nationally annually (it's not actually 20%, I'm just using that to illustrate a concept). We can't kill 20% less of one person per year here, so we're not going to see any change in the number of cyclists killed, although we might begin to notice that we go for more years without getting anyone killed, but it still all falls within the range of random probability. After about five years, we'd be able to see the trend. It would take another five years to confirm the trend.

This presents some obvious problems. We don't always want to wait five years to see if action is needed today. There are two ways around this. One is to increase the sample size. Instead of looking at cyclists deaths only, add in cyclist emergency room visits, maybe add in hospital admissions too, or also police accident reports. This gives an accurate picture of the rate at which "stuff" happens to cyclists, which can be compared year to year, but it's not as useful for determining what kind of "stuff" is happening to cyclists. Still, knowing this can be helpful. The other way is to increase the population. Instead of looking at cyclist deaths in Saskatchewan, you can look at all the cyclists deaths in Canada or North America. This gives a more accurate picture of what kind of "stuff" happens to cyclists. But you have to assume that all of the provinces are more or less the same, or at least not so different that they affect the statistical significance of the research. It assumes, for example, that our laws are the same, that our attitudes and behaviours are the same. There are pluses and minuses to either approach.

So far, I've only talked about cyclist deaths. Cyclist deaths from head injury is a smaller subset of cyclist deaths (although about 80% of the time, head injury is the cause of death for cyclists, but we're still talking 80% of one person in Saskatchewan). Cyclist death by head injury where the mechanism of injury was within the design parameters of a helmet (i.e. death that might perhaps have been prevented by a helmet, e.g. impact under 20 km/hr, no other vehicle involved, and striking ground under optimal conditions) is a smaller subset yet. Cyclist death by head injury where the mechanism was within the design parameters of a helmet and the cyclist was not wearing a helmet or was wearing a helmet but it was worn improperly or it was worn properly but failed for reasons which could be determined . . . . well you get the picture.

The most commonly reported data for Saskatchewan, therefore, put all the cycling injuries, fatal and non-fatal, into one basket. We aren't told the data from the smaller samples, because that data would be misleading. For that reason, you won't find local stats on head injuries.

Unfortunately, Think First and the helmet coalition have still managed to misuse the data in promoting the bylaw and provincial legislation. They cite the rate of all cycling injuries or all collision reports or the total cost of treating all cycling injuries, then imply that all of the deaths and injuries will be prevented and all of the costs will be saved if only people could be forced to wear helmets.

gravity isn't attractive

I was buying foundation garments today. That's the sort of stuff that helps a woman try to defy gravity. I thought of a line, "my body is trying to defy gravity by growing sideways."
Dan sent me money for his lawyer and the bills I hadn't paid. The post office didn't have enough cash in the tills to cover it all so I'll have to go back tomorrow to get the rest.
Science show just did a blurb on the idea that sometimes gravity is repulsive, if you have enough dark matter clustered around. They figure that's what the big bang was about. I just think God Blinked. It was, however, inspiring for today's topic, LOL.
It was unpleasant weather for biking. I wore a bit too little because it was kinda melty out but with no sunshine and a powerful southeast wind I was chilled plenty when I got home.
I'm feeling a special kind of a mix of elation and guilt for spending nearly a $170 on underwear. I got two affordable but comfy new bras and a bustier, which is today's version of a corset. Not quite as supporting but still able to give the waist back it's curve even if you have more waist than is advisable. Interestingly the cheap bras needed me to go up a cup size. In them I'm a C whereas in the $60 bra I'm a B cup. Go figger.
I found it quite horrid looking at myself in the mirrors. There's extra flesh in places I don't appreciate seeing it, like under my arms, as well as long my waist and belly, and it has that soft looseness of old flesh. I might not look 42 on the surface but I certainly do look it now in my undies. I'm SO glad the man I'm in love with is older than me. To him I still look relatively young. If I was dating someone younger I'd be torn with anxiety and insecurity about my body. I suppose if I socialized more, and maybe in a culture where people see each other without clothes more, I might feel better seeing myself in contrast with my peers, but all I have to contrast what is in the mirror is either my past, or the images that make it into print, which are unrealistic even if unretouched! I wonder, if I lose the excess weight, will I look any better to my own eyes in the mirror, or will saggy flesh still assault my aesthetic senses? Lovemaking will definitely require low light and/or a blindfold in the future I think.
While I lament my youthful figure I do recognize that it had to end and I have to accept and dive into this experience. It's the price you pay for not dying young and it's inevitable. The flesh breaks down. It was going to happen. I had a damn good ride. I had a good twenty or so years of looking like Venus Can't complain. Still, I'd happily give up the price of a winter vacation for a tummy tuck and breast lift. I finally understand now.

still hurts!

By Sunday my neck was much better but tender. By Monday it was merely an annoyance. I spent Monday working like a daemon at home. Got dog food made, yoghurt, bread, birdfood. The dogfood took the longest. I also got the website commission done that I was working on for a dog breeder.
Well I dunno what exactly caused it but my neck is back to nasty status. I'm tired of it! Dammit.
Today I will head to work, probably on foot. Just a little to do to prep for the show. Tomorrow is a "long day" at work.

stiff, ouch

Spent yesterday in pain. Taking muscle relaxants and aspirin, trying to keep my neck supported. Yuck. I threw it out friday and by yesterday it was vicious. It's a lot better today. I still feel like I got run over by a cement truck and my back is spasming and my arms and pecs are sore too. I feel like my neck was wrung out like a washrag! I was thrilled, however, to discover this morning that my driveway didn't need shovelling as the wind had kept it mostly clear, and the alley had been plowed by the city.
I had some fun with petey tonight. He's discovered he can land on my head and so he was sitting there while I had some pizza and I would put the pizza up for him to have a bite after me. Heheheheh. Pretty funny.
I found a wild lamp in the recycle depot. People aren't supposed to throw household goods there anymore but the habit from back when the Salvation Army had bins there still remains. Folks don't want to make the effort to phone the charity to come pick it up and possibly wait 2 days. They don't want to just toss it in the trash either, or it's too big and they're too lazy and cheap to take it to the dump. So stuff lands in the depot. Last week I got 4 aquariums, a whack of cleaning supplies, and some other stuff I don't immediately recall.
This lamp was sitting there missing one lampshade off 3. It's a pole lamp with 3 branches off it that arc gently and have hanging round white paper lantern shades on the ends. One missing. The lamp was slightly bent, one of the branches askew, but completely fixable. I think I can find a replacement shade too. The thing still had it's plastic protective wrap on the upright tube and the protective cap on the plug. Only problem, I have nowhere to put it... Hehehehe. It's cool and I like it but I have too small a house for it. I will just leave it in the garage for now. I may freecycle it eventually or give it away to someone who's over and admires it. Maybe I'll use it in the gazebo, or something else entirely. I really don't know and don't much care. It's cool anyway.

if you throw it away, you threw it away!

http://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/national/2006/03/10/hortons060310.html
This dumbass threw out a cup. He was done with it. He should have checked for the prize but he didn't. Why he tossed it out without rolling up the rim is neither here nor there. When you throw something into the garbage, you are letting go all claim to it. You are formally stating that you don't want it anymore. Now if he'd dropped it in by accident and been unable to retrieve it, perhaps because he didn't see it fall in, and was actively seeking it, like say a woman losing a diamond earring in the trash, then that would be different. However, this man isn't claiming it got in the trash by accident. He openly admits he threw it away.
It's bad enough the two girls are fighting over this prize when they could just sell the vehicle and split the money and set up a couple of college funds. However, the guy who bought the cup and drank the coffee has NO right to lay any claim on this prize! He threw it out!
I hope this ridiculous mess goes to court in front of a sensible judge. She would surely dismiss the teacher's claims and split the prize evenly between the girls. For that is how it ought to be settled. I personally am disgusted by the people involved in this for being so blasted greedy.

cartoon fun and general events

Dayshift has been agreeing with me. I sold my grown bengalese finches to Petland for $10 each. Spent the whole $60 on stuff, mostly toys for petey and sarah. I've had a stiff neck all day. It's horrible and exhausting.
Woke up with an awful dream of Dan in trouble. He got screwed on the big tile job, they only paid him 30% of what he billed. Because he hadn't gotten it in writing he can't force them to pay more. however it's done now and he's getting enough to get us started on things. I may in fact be able to start the lawyer, we'll see.
Local student run paper The Sheaf has been in hot water for running the cartoon below. I think it runs well alongside the other cartoons with Mohammed being insulted. This one, however, is far more offensive both in content and general pointlessness. It's a cartoon drawn to offend more than having any specific message. Possibly the artist wants to suggest that christianity and capitalism are too much connected. The cartoon following is from Non Sequitor and pagan friends of mine suggested it too fits into the category, as witchcraft IS a religion. I think this latter one is charming, however. Brews and spells ARE faith based chemistry!

Astroturfing: Building an illusionary grass roots support

This comes from a Mr. Henry Meyerding in Seattle:

Among the most discreditable of practices is "Astroturfing" - a process where a special interest group pays people to create a fake grass-roots movement for or against something. The good folks at Wal-Mart are currently trying to reinvent blogging, transforming it from a free method of information exchange into mere advertising.
What ever happened to honesty? Wasn't it the case, not very long ago, that most people were pretty honest? Of course the meaning of being honest has changed subtly in the past few decades, too, so it's pretty hard to tell. It used to be that if an ordinary person went into a store and was lied to (and found out about it), they'd avoid that store and tell all their friends to avoid that store. Honest people didn't tell lies and didn't put up with people who did. They certainly did not favor them with their custom. You tell a friend these days that XYZ store lied to you and they're apt to say, "so what?" or "yeah, everybody does that" or "but they've got the lowest prices." People have gotten conditioned to being treated like criminals - being scanned at every exit and watched by a thousand cameras. If all the customers are crooks, why should you be surprised when all the store employees are dishonest, too?
The most recent example of systematic dishonesty I've come across is the brainchild of the people who do PR for Wal-Mart. They've discovered the Internet and they've figured out that many people go online and look up other people's opinions about products, stores, and social issues. Some of these opinions are available on consumer assistance sites, while most of the rest appear on an ever increasing landscape of blogs. Most blogs are web sites that contain the views of a particular person or group, together with public responses to those views. Some are very definitely directed toward something specific, while others pride themselves on ranging all over the cosmos. The PR folks at Wal-Mart are paying people, lots of people, to voice opinions on these blog sites - not their own opinions, naturally, but the corporate opinions of the Wal-Mart leadership.
Go out to any public blog and post something bad about Wal-Mart. True or not, in a few hours or days, you'll find that this opinion has been found and that many people, apparently, disagree. Some people might honestly disagree, but it is impossible to distinguish these actual people from the fakes from Wal-Mart.
There is a term for this: astroturfing, which is defined as an attempt to make a fake grass-roots movement for or against something. Paying people to pretend to support an idea or cause and to argue on its behalf is dishonest. Paying them to also keep the fact that they were paid advocates a secret is also dishonest and ought to be illegal.
Previous to this, there have been other PR shell games, where people were paid to engage other shoppers (or other PR shills) in apparently spontaneous and genuine conversations about products or politics in an effort to influence everyone who heard the conversation. This was proven to be an effective selling technique, when done properly, but it was expensive and tended to reach only very small groups. It was also dangerous for the PR folk, who were attacked by their intended victims whenever they were unmasked.
But through blogspace on the Internet, one clever liar can reach millions of potential shoppers. We've gotten so used to being lied to in advertising. Now companies like Wal-Mart are threatening to pollute a global resource that is of tremendous value to billions of people all over the earth and turn it into another liars carnival.
I don't shop at Wal-Mart for many reasons. This is just one more in a long line of dishonest, depraved, and indecent things Wal-Mart is doing in my world. I wouldn't go into a Wal-Mart for free beer. No honest person should confer their blessings on Wal-Mart's atrocious behavior by spending their money there.

Professor DimWit does it again!

Once again I walked out on the philosophy. Damn prof is so stupid it blows my mind. He introduced no ideas at all! Everything he said was a re-hash of issues any high school student could list. I could see this lecturing having value for 18 yr olds to stimulate them to think about the repercussions and ramifications but for adults such as ourselves I found it utterly lacking in educational value. Mostly he rambled. When discussion time came he'd ramble on for four or five times as long as the commentor, essentially saying "yes, that's an issue, I haven't a clue." This is the same dimwit who said "that's too deep for me" in the January lecture. It soon became clear I wasn't going to get a chance to voice my thoughts as one old grey beard after another rambled aimlessly in the same manner as the prof, being preferred when they stuck their hands in the air. Then the prof would ramble at dull length about it back. At no point did anyone actually introduce any ideas. It seemed as though actually thinking was preposterous.

Am I that much smarter than everyone that they seem so stupid, or is it that our university is too backwater to employ any thinkers in the philosophy dept? Well, then again there were some smarter folks at last month's lecture, though they didn't stand at the front. One or two of these were actually employed at the university. Then I wonder if they're deliberately keeping it dumb as a result of assuming a level of intellect in their "community" audience.

All I know is I was getting nothing, having no opportunity to give anything, and bored silly.

dayshift

I wrote my boss an email informing him that I'm going onto permanent dayshift now. That's the end of this night-time stuff! I told him I've been knife attacked again and had other near-misses around the theatre so that I've decided it's just not safe anymore. That's that.

darnit, mugged again!

This isn't doing my anxiety levels a bit of good! Last time I walk to work at night forever. Well unless I can't ride a bike or drive a car I guess.

I walked because I wanted to change my exercise routine. My body is so used to cycling that it just isn't working to do it. Walking, however, is work and good work.. It hits all the right muscles. I'll still walk for cleaning after matinees but tonight I'm going to drive as I have a big laundry bag and really don't want to be encumbered. Thursday night had a scare with a guy on a bike chasing my car right out front of the theatre. This meant I had to circle round and park in the mall lot awhile before I could go to work. Now tonight I got mugged. Is it mugging if you successfully avoid having your pockets turned out?

So I'm walking along 22nd thinking I'm safe there because it's busy, well lit, and broad. No shadows, frequent traffic. I am westbound on the south side and at ave U I decide it's time to cross over to the north side. I need to at some point and now seemed like as good a time as any. A man started to cross behind me and move a bit fast to catch up. I right away got paranoid and considered if I should stand on the boulevard and let him go past me. No, I figured, I should cross before these cars get too close. I crossed and he reached the boulevard and started to cross too. I was worried. A cop car drove eastbound behind him and he veered away from me and north up U. Not long after the cops were gone he returned and walked briskly up behind me. I turned to face him as he approached, gazing levelly into his face. He walked right up close beside me then circled in front of me, face to face, in my face. He said "what you doing?"

I said "I'm walking is what. Step off."

He said "Give me your money."

"I don't have any money. Do you think I'm stupid enough to be carrying anything walking around here at night?"

"Do you think I'm stupid enough to believe that?"

"You're stupid enough to be a mugger."

He pulled a massive kitchen knife from under his vest in front. 18" blade veggie chopper, the kind with an offset handle so you can use the heel of the knife. It shone. He said he'd cut me. He told me to prove I didn't have anything and empty my pockets. I told him again I had nothing on me. He showed me a meat cleaver from behind him with his left hand, the knife in his right. He kept looking around and when cars would pass he'd hide the knives behind his back. The cleaver only peeked out a time or two, he never used it.

He was right in my face and pushed me back when I was in his face, then swung widely with the kitchen knife and I raised my arm and blocked him, he swung again but not close enough to hit.

He was dressed in a grey hoody over a light colored hat and a thick green down vest over the hoody. Tied around his face inside the hood was a cotton scarf, red with a fine pattern of white lines in a grid. He was young, around 15 or 16 years old. Indian, the broad faced cree kind, not the narrow faced dene. His nose was small but wide and flat. His scarf fell down showing full lips and his eyes were wide set and horizontal and almond shaped. He had light acne speckles on his cheeks. He was in jeans and unremarkable footwear. I don't remember his gloves but his hands were covered against the cold. On his back was a limp black nylon back pack.

As we continued a man walked by, walking wide past us, giving us way more space than you would if you cared about this mugging going on. He looked like another mugger anyway. He was wearing a black hoody pulled over a white cap worn backwards. I asked him if he was a friend of this guy who's mugging me? He spread his arms and said no, not me. My mugger looked at him with a smile and said "hey bro." I wondered if the second guy was going to come in from behind and attack me. I managed at one point to steal a glance in that direction and he was moving on.

I pushed him back again trying to get him to back off. I told him he better not stab me because I get really nasty when I'm angry. He said prove it then, go ahead, fight me. I told him I wasn't violent but if I felt pain I would go freaky on his head. I kept using the phrase step off. "You just better step off because I am not going to let you mug you. I will not be mugged." Again he challenged me "wrestle with me." Again I reiterated that I don't fight. He told me he'd cut my throat. He swung high twice at my throat. I missed to block him but leaned back far enough just the tip grazed my scarf. I couldn't grab the blade in these gloves, didn't think they'd work and anyway he had 2 knives and for all I know, more than that. I had to talk him off. Bluff him off. In my pocket the $10 bill and the $12 cheque for an overdrawn bank account sat inside my iPAQ case burning it's awarness through my pocket and triggering the lie. I told him to look at my 30 year old ratty second hand coat. Do I look like I have money? It was when I told him I was on welfare and had already spent all my money on my broken car that he backed down. He called me a bum and told me to get going. "Go on ya bum. You're just a bum."

"That's right, that's exactly what I am so leave me alone."

I was freaking inside as I walked on my way, watching my mugger make his way back over to the other side of the street and behind a strip mall. Wondering the whole time if he'd change his mind, or if the other guy or yet another creep would take over. A carload of drunks screamed nonsense and laughter at me shortly after driving too fast down the road. I don't think they had anything to do with what had just happened but it added to the general flavour of insanity this night.

Uhen I got to the drugstore at the mall it was embattled with it's own little crew of miscreants in the doorway but the security guard called the police for me. I gave a report over the phone and waited there for the police to come and take my statement. They asked if I'd come by the station later for a "photo lineup." Meantime over the radio they were chasing a guy who had just attacked someone else and was very likely my mugger. I think they got him but I'm not sure. When I was done and ready to go to work they were going to drive me the rest of the way but a breakin at a nearby convenience store changed those plans and I had to walk those last four blocks alone and still scared.

I was no less scared walking home along the same route and every pedestrian scared me till I was close enough to see whether they were a threat.

No more late night walking to work for me. Not unless I get a big dog to walk with me. Sarah would be a liability, not an asset, LOL.