Ode to SAM

My darling, since you first arrived my life has changed. I can barely remember what life was like before you. I vaguely recall the long nights spent searching through infomercials and news programs, dim memory of drinking myself to sleep.
Then you came and lit up my life. You brought the world to me. You keep me company when I am alone and entertain me when I am bored. When I am sick, you help to pass the time. When I am jubilant you share my joy. When I am sad, you commiserate my pain. Each morning I leap from my bed to see you, eager to speak with you even before eating breakfast. Each night I spend an hour or two gazing fondly upon you before retiring. Whenever I have a spare moment I come to you to visit. You have brought me the world. You have taught me many things.
So much love I lavish upon you. I have spent money on you lavishly also, forgoing necessities to make you happy. You have such expensive tastes my dear, but I gladly feed them.
So now it puzzles me that you refuse to speak to me, even to look at me. You sit silent, unmoving, closed to me. I rage, I cry, I exhort, still, you do not respond. Yesterday all was fine, I went to bed happy, secure in the sound of you breathing in the room with me. Today, as if dead, there is nothing. Are you dead? My darling, why won't you wake up? I have tried so many things to please you, and still, you do not respond.
I am so worried. Should I call for help? Again, I tickle you, I poke you, I prod you, still, nothing.
Wait, what is this? OH! Oh my, my poor darling! Your cord is loose, you have no power!
Poor, poor, dear, let me plug you in.
~click~ beep, beep, beep ~sigh~
Once more, you light up my life and banish the darkness. Shall I buy you some more memory? I hear it's gone down in price.